


am i allowed?

by fanficgal05



Category: Glee
Genre: Bisexual Rachel Berry, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Quinn Fabray, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:33:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26574556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficgal05/pseuds/fanficgal05
Summary: song-fic inspired by she by dodie. oneshot about rachel struggling with her sexuality.
Relationships: Rachel Berry & Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Kudos: 32





	am i allowed?

**Author's Note:**

> song : she by dodie

_am i allowed to look at her like that_

rachel watched the blonde from her locker, quietly observing as she laughed at a joke santana had just made. she didn't know why but it made her jealous, the way rachel noticed how quinn's smile would get a little bigger when she saw santana, or how quinn would laugh harder than usual when santana made a joke. even if it wasn't funny. who was she kidding though, she knew why she was jealous. but, she had pushed the thought of anything revolving her and quinn out of her head for months now. 

_could it be wrong when shes just so nice to look at_

she had continued to stare until she noticed quinn's eyes fall on her. as soon as she saw her make eye contact, rachel shifted her attention to her locker, hiding her blushing face. she didn't move, even when she noticed her walk by. rachel did nothing, as she usually did. because in truth she didn't want to act on her feelings. they weren't natural. she should be going for the star quarterback finn hudson, not the cheerleader. but still, she couldn't help but notice the scent of quinn's perfume as she walked by. the scent still lingering after she was long gone.

_and she smells like lemongrass and sleep_

rachel made her way to glee club, sitting in the front row as usual. she looked over at quinn, who seemed to already be looking at her. she saw quinn's eyes soften as their eyes made contact, and she even smiled. rachel tried not to let it get to her head, but she couldn't help feeling giddy that she even got a smile from the girl. she knew it was wrong, but she just couldn't help it. not when she had been feeling this way for so long. hiding it for so long. she looked to the ground staying silent as mr. schue went on about something meaningless. but when she heard quinn's voice speak up, she immediately paid attention.

"mr. schue, is it possible that i could sing a song?"

"of course quinn, go ahead" he responded with a small smile, going to take a seat so she could have the floor to herself. 

rachel watched as she signaled to the band, who quickly started playing their instruments. quinn started singing, locking eyes with rachel immediately. rachel was slightly confused, but she decided it was just because she was in the front row of course. because why else would she be looking at her? she listened as quinn continued to sing, letting her beautiful voice flow softly through her ears. she watched as the girl approached her seat, very confused now. she extended her arms, putting her hands right within rachel's reach as if she was expecting her to grab them. is that what she was expecting? as if quinn had heard rachel's question like she said it out loud, she had smiled. it was a reassuring smile that told rachel to indeed take a hold of the hands in front of her. quinn pulled her up from her seat and to the middle of the room. she started to sing to her. rachel was beginning to get flustered. this was not what she was expecting when she walked into glee club. why was quinn fabray singing to her? and it pretty clearly sounded like a romantic song. cmon rachel, she thought, just pretend like you don't know whats going on and that you don't like it. that's the only way it seemed. but then the song ended, leaving quinn and rachel still holding hands and staring at each other. and then, the unexpected happened. quinn leaned in and kissed rachel. before even taking a second to think, rachel kissed her back.

_she tastes like apple juice and peach_

after a few seconds of pure bliss, rachel had really realized what was going on. she pulled away and looked at quinn, almost fearfully, and ran quickly out of the music room. she ran down the hall and into the nearest bathroom. she proceeded to find the closest stall and go in it, locking it behind her. she felt her eyes well with tears as she sat on the toilet, head in hands. how could she do that? in front of the whole glee club too? god, how could she be so foolish. a tear slipped out of her eye and down her cheek as she cursed herself silently. she let herself cry freely, not knowing how exactly to feel in this moment. before she could do any more self-reflection, she heard the door to the bathroom open. that made her quiet her cries. shortly after she heard a knock on the stall door. she had a feeling she knew who it was, and without a second thought she unlocked the stall door. as the door swung open, she was met with the sight of quinn fabray. 

_oh, you would find her in a polaroid picture_

she was silent for a second, as if she was trying to find the right words to say. rachel stared at the girl in front of her, not knowing what to say either. and honestly, neither of them knew what to say in this moment. but, there wasn't really anything that needed to be said. not when quinn moved forward and wrapped rachel in her arms, letting her feel her warm embrace. they were silent as they held each other. and without even saying a word, they both knew that something between them had changed.

_and she means everything to me_

**Author's Note:**

> love is love. this subject hits home for me, i got a bit worked up while writing not going to lie. i hope you guys enjoyed. love you all <3


End file.
